First post of 2010, ironically on the second day of 2010.

I dont know why but i cant sleep. I want to sleep, i'm tired but i cant sleep. Why why why? I dont get it, just like how i dont understand the hype about 2010. New year is just a another year, its more meaningless than chinese new year. At least i get to indulge in good food without any guilt for chinese new year. And good free hot money too! Needless to say, with all the new clothes in that new year package. Not guilty pleasure material at all. (self denial)

Is 2010 really worth the all live feed on facebook? I'm sure i pressed older posts for like 3 times and i still see people going "HAPPY 2010!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yeah yeah i get it maybe 2009 was shitty and 2010 cant get any worst. Or maybe 2009 was great and 2010 can only get better. I get it. Not. Are all the smses worthy? Is everyone really looking forward to 2010 or are some people just going with the flow? People like me who will text back excitedly about hoping to have a great 2010 ahead. Yup, sure, part of me is looking forward to a new year but that part is really really tiny. For someone who dare not think about the future with the whole A level mugging stress out frenzy, i dont think i have the rights to look forward to whatever 2010 holds for me. The holiday went by in blur, its gone before i realise.

How have 2009 been? Lets see. I got out of my comfortable 4 years long in cchms and got into meridian. Even now when people ask me what school am i from, i held back thinking which should i say? I guess that's because i'v'e chosen cchms yet mj picked me up. Nope, i'm so over dwelling on getting 9points not taking higher chinese not having a cca bla bla bla. Now i'm quite glad to have those in 108. Sure there're friends i've gotten closer with, there are also quite a handful whom i've drifted apart. For those who've known me, you'll know that friends are my drive, my fun, my laugh, my worries, aka very important in my life. It hurts to be far away from those used to be. It hurts not to know anymore. It hurt so much its awkward. I dont try when things get awkward, yes i just give up. So i hope i'm not given up upon, or else it'd be hopeless. Lost friendships. I dont dare to say i've all the memories kept within me like what people usually say. Honestly, i dont remember things, so all are gone except notes and cards that can tear people up. Those powerful little things. Abrupt stop cause i know i'll just go on forever.

I dont expect much of a resolution for 2010 from myself.

Maybe amend some of the lost treasures. Safeguard the present. Study right and do really well for A's or i can kill myself. Smile only for a reason. Make firm decisions. Be a more understanding family member (similar to-do in every of my to-do-list but never done) Getting great deals at flea at flyers. Decide whether to get a hair cut or not.

Thats probably all for now.